Everytime I try and convince myself that I will never write in this blog again, months later I find myself back here. See that's the thing, time goes past but nothing really changes. My mind will never change, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try.
Things have got really bad lately, my mum passed away in the middle of May and everything else seems to be falling apart. I just want to isolate myself from it all, I need to take back control. In a time that everything feels so uncertain and horrible I just want to focus on me and myself, my life.
Some people at times of sadness and desperation turn to god and religion, I turn to Ana. She tells me how to sort myself out, how to be ok. It's not even that I need telling, I know what I need to do. I need to feel the pain of hunger, I need to be rid of the fat that is stopping me from being happy.
I want to be happy.
That's all I want
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