Tuesday, 30 November 2010
Lost another 2 pounds, wicked. Today i'm eating quite alot. I had about 10-15 carrot batons and 2 chicken breasts in piri piri marinade. Around 500 cals consumed today. Could be much much worse and it tasted beyond amazing! My thoughts are all over the place though. I'm sure I will feel awful later about eating so much. grrr.
Monday, 29 November 2010
Back to work
Well tomorrow I have to return. Don't really want to if i'm honest! On the upside while i'm at work i'm not around the house tempted by food. If anyone dares offering me biscuits they will feel my wrath! Today I had a pack of prawns, 1/3 of a pack is only 65 calories!!! Loving that. Lost 2 pounds since yesterday... not bad. So far since Thursday I have lost 8 pounds. Pretty chuffed really! I went from _ _.4 to _ _.9. I think thats 8 :S
Can't wait until I start really noticing the weight drop off. Will be a good couple of weeks before it's noticeable I think. I need to hide it as much as possible though when it is obvious. I don't want any comments or anything. People at work can be so nosey like that. The women are very competitive and at the moment i'm not really seen as competition but it gets alot bitchier the prettier you are. Sad but true. That's the main reason i'm not bothering with the xmas party, it's all about who is wearing what and getting off with what bloke. So superficial. I booked the day off work so I can avoid any questions.
I'm sure I will post again before I go to bed!
Can't wait until I start really noticing the weight drop off. Will be a good couple of weeks before it's noticeable I think. I need to hide it as much as possible though when it is obvious. I don't want any comments or anything. People at work can be so nosey like that. The women are very competitive and at the moment i'm not really seen as competition but it gets alot bitchier the prettier you are. Sad but true. That's the main reason i'm not bothering with the xmas party, it's all about who is wearing what and getting off with what bloke. So superficial. I booked the day off work so I can avoid any questions.
I'm sure I will post again before I go to bed!
Sunday, 28 November 2010
Insomnia O clock
So I am still up at 11 minutes past midnight. I am already excited about weighing myself tomorrow morning. Is that sad? I can't stop thinking about what I am going to eat and how many cals are in it and how much exercise I am going to do. I can feel myself slipping into the mindset but in a way I am perfectly happy with that. Whatever gets me results quickest in my opinion. I did think I had a bit longer before the obsession set in though. It's like i'm in control but i'm not. My thoughts aren't mine if that makes sense, it's something that pops into my head and it's like another person telling me what to do. Telling me I need to keep cutting back and that everything will be better. That I will look much better for the next time I see C.
My head hurts :(
My head hurts :(
xfactor results
Thank GOD Wagner is gone!!!!! Katie deserved to go as well, finally my 2 least favourite contestants have been kicked off. I think Cher and Mary will go next, leaving it between Matt, Rebecca and One Direction. I want either Matt or O.D. Rebecca isn't a bad singer but I don't really like her style of music.
Yay Yay Yay.
Yay Yay Yay.
As previously mentioned- The Plan
The plan is basically to lose as much weight as I can and as quickly as possible and from there reinvent my image. I want to be someone else. If I can do all this I know I will be happier than I am at the moment and this can only be a good thing. Noone has said anything nasty to provoke all this, just a switch in my head has been turned on and suddenly I am very aware of the fact I don't look great as I am and if I was to be slimmer it would just improve my life. All I can think of is how I am going to lose more weight. So far since Thursday I have lost 7 pounds. I am eating 2 bowls of cornflakes a day. I am going to review this though as it feels too much. I have some great pills though which are aiding the weight loss. In total I am looking to lose around 4 stone for the moment. I know I want to lose more but thats my goal for now. I will be updating with progress as I go along. Maybe even posting pictures as my body starts to change. I am thinking of going on one of the machines that does print outs of your BMI and stats once a week then I could post that on here for week on week comparisons. I am weighing myself everyday though so will post daily how much I have lost compared to the day before.
This is so exciting, and really is the start of a long journey.
Things to do
This is so exciting, and really is the start of a long journey.
Things to do
- Find youtube thinspo videos
- Research diets: ABC and 2,4,6,8 look appealing
- Devise a daily diet plan
- Devise an exercise plan, I hate it but I think it has to be done.
- Possibly buy a dress to slim into???
- Make some buddies in similar situations.
Some nice little sayings
* You will never know true happiness
until you have truly loved,
and you will never understand
what pain really is until you have lost it.
* The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.
*To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
Cute huh?
until you have truly loved,
and you will never understand
what pain really is until you have lost it.
* The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.
*To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
Cute huh?
Welcome to my life
Greetings to anyone that is reading.
Let me give a bit of background info...
I'm Zally, i'm 20 and I live in a flat on my own in London. I am a happy person and I appreciate the small things in life. I love to laugh and I enjoy my life. Most of the time!
I work in accounts full-time. I enjoy my job to an extent but my office is a bit mental really. It's like The Office only Ricky Gervais is a woman. Same sort of dynamics and madness but all fun and laughs at the end of the day. I have made some great friends and I am lucky to work on a good team of people. In terms of my career, I have no idea what I want to do in the future. It does scare me in a way because I genuinely don't know where I will be in 5 years time. Most people at least have a fair idea. I would love to work in fashion but it is so hard to get into the industry I am considering going down a different path.
I have no significant other at the moment. It's my own fault really after my last relationship I haven't really put myself out there as such. There is a guy I really like and will probably mention crap loads in my blog, but he is like my best friend I guess. I've known him since the summer and we go through phases of meeting up loads and not seeing each other for weeks. When we are together it is like we are a couple but it's all unofficial and stuff and I know he is seeing other people, but then again I have as well since we got to know each other. It's a strange situation really but neither of us are prepared to put our neck on the line and say anything about it. I tried to once but it was so awkward I sort of laughed it off. I am working on it though, I have a plan which I reveal in a separate post. See I told you he will be mentioned a fair amount!!
In terms of family life, we aren't very close and I don't see them much despite them living so near. I am happy with this. I have no issues with being on my own and to be honest I love my own company often more than anyone elses... as bad as it sounds. I find whenever I go home there are arguments and I just leave feeling crap so for that reason I generally stay away.
As a person I am not overly confident. I don't like the way I look and have major issues with my weight. I accept that I am overweight and I know it's my own fault. I have a weird relationship with food. I can be totally fine and eat whatever I like for months but at random intervals I get voices in my head which will completely change my views on myself and my diet. When I am in this stage I get addicted to not eating and losing weight and it controls my life. I am in this stage now, and I fear I will be for a long time. I am a very articulate person and a total perfectionist so when I do anything it is done to the best of my ability. So when I diet I just can't be happy with losing a couple of pounds a week. On average I lose around 7 pounds a week when I am dieting and the quick results is what keeps me going. I am very lazy and unshamed of the fact I loathe exercise. Any weight loss I have is due to cutting back food but I will always wonder how much results would be boosted if I did exercise. If I ever hit a plateau where I can't lose weight I will definately consider exercising.
I hope this gives an insight into what sort of person I am and I will be updating this alot with new stuff as it happens and also random facts and information thrown in.
I hope you enjoy X
Let me give a bit of background info...
I'm Zally, i'm 20 and I live in a flat on my own in London. I am a happy person and I appreciate the small things in life. I love to laugh and I enjoy my life. Most of the time!
I work in accounts full-time. I enjoy my job to an extent but my office is a bit mental really. It's like The Office only Ricky Gervais is a woman. Same sort of dynamics and madness but all fun and laughs at the end of the day. I have made some great friends and I am lucky to work on a good team of people. In terms of my career, I have no idea what I want to do in the future. It does scare me in a way because I genuinely don't know where I will be in 5 years time. Most people at least have a fair idea. I would love to work in fashion but it is so hard to get into the industry I am considering going down a different path.
I have no significant other at the moment. It's my own fault really after my last relationship I haven't really put myself out there as such. There is a guy I really like and will probably mention crap loads in my blog, but he is like my best friend I guess. I've known him since the summer and we go through phases of meeting up loads and not seeing each other for weeks. When we are together it is like we are a couple but it's all unofficial and stuff and I know he is seeing other people, but then again I have as well since we got to know each other. It's a strange situation really but neither of us are prepared to put our neck on the line and say anything about it. I tried to once but it was so awkward I sort of laughed it off. I am working on it though, I have a plan which I reveal in a separate post. See I told you he will be mentioned a fair amount!!
In terms of family life, we aren't very close and I don't see them much despite them living so near. I am happy with this. I have no issues with being on my own and to be honest I love my own company often more than anyone elses... as bad as it sounds. I find whenever I go home there are arguments and I just leave feeling crap so for that reason I generally stay away.
As a person I am not overly confident. I don't like the way I look and have major issues with my weight. I accept that I am overweight and I know it's my own fault. I have a weird relationship with food. I can be totally fine and eat whatever I like for months but at random intervals I get voices in my head which will completely change my views on myself and my diet. When I am in this stage I get addicted to not eating and losing weight and it controls my life. I am in this stage now, and I fear I will be for a long time. I am a very articulate person and a total perfectionist so when I do anything it is done to the best of my ability. So when I diet I just can't be happy with losing a couple of pounds a week. On average I lose around 7 pounds a week when I am dieting and the quick results is what keeps me going. I am very lazy and unshamed of the fact I loathe exercise. Any weight loss I have is due to cutting back food but I will always wonder how much results would be boosted if I did exercise. If I ever hit a plateau where I can't lose weight I will definately consider exercising.
I hope this gives an insight into what sort of person I am and I will be updating this alot with new stuff as it happens and also random facts and information thrown in.
I hope you enjoy X
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